Protocol in a Port-of-Call

[ornoth_cycling]

Bicycling has certain protocols. One of them is that you don’t wear team kit unless you are being paid to weat it, or can at least hammer faster than anyone else in the vicinity. Anything less would be incredbily gauche. Picture a 275-pound flab-gator tooling around, sweating profusely at 13 mph on the flat, piloting a replica of Lance’s bike, wearing Lance’s team jersey. Tack-ay. But sadly far too common.

That goes eightfold for the yellow jersey: the symbol of leadership in the Tour de France. Any cyclist who can wear the yellow jersey for real, that is the best day of his entire life, without exception. People devote their entire professional lives to earning that right. Whole squads of people devote their lives just to have the opportunity to indirectly help someone else earn that right. In the past century, only 261 people have earned the right to wear a yellow jersey.

So you can imagine how massive a faux pas it is for a weekend hacker to put on a replica yellow jersey. It’s like showing off your (replica) Nobel Prize for Literature when you’re not even professionally published. It’s like proudly displaying your “Olympic Gold” at work, when in reality the closest you’ve come to the Olympics was spending one Saturday laughing when Olympic curling was on television a few years back.

Wearing a replica maillot jaune is the single biggest act of hubris a cyclist can conceive of.

So you can see where this is going. Recently some blithering idiot showed up for our group ride in a replica Tour de France leader’s jersey. A woman. Wearing sneakers, rather than cycling shoes. Who felt the ideal accessory for the maillot jaune was a big ole fanny pack. On a cheap department store flat-bar bike. With reflectors and a kick-stand, for Christ’s sake!!!

Now sure, you can mark all that down to ignorance, but that’s some absolutely amazingly superlative kind of ignorance, unabashedly paraded out in public in a way that just demanded to be noticed. That’s much worse than nine-months-pregnant-in-your-wedding-dress level stuff.

Folks, don’t do stuff like that. Please! You’ll get spat out the back of the ride like a wad of stale chaw, and be left behind, alone on the open road but for the echoing laughter your offensive hubris earned.

Comments

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

What being a woman has to do with it is there is clearly and obviously no way a woman, no matter how extraordinary a biker, could ever have earned that jersey. The gear underscores the point -- Lance Armstrong couldn't win a Tour with gear like that.

I'm a woman with a midrange bike, sneakers (clip pedals), a lot of endurance and very little speed. And I'm completely with ornoth_cycling here. Wearing the yellow when you haven't earned it is breathtakingly hubristic.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

Sounds like we're both in the same category (I have little speed but lots of endurance). I don't think it's particularly hubristic, especially when it's glaringly obvious that this person wasn't part of the winning team.

If it's so hubristic, why are yellow jerseys sold?

Replica World Series rings aren't sold with as great availability as Red Sox jerseys (they might be sold, but they're thousands of dollars and out of the grasp of ordinary fans). Is it hubristic for me to wear a "Ramirez" jersey even though I haven't earned it? Or even a generic Red Sox jersey when I obviously haven't earned it, since I'm not on the team?

And I completely object -- the woman could have been on the crew or a supporting team member that was a big factor in helping a Tour-de-Francer win.

Still, I've done all of the above, if you swap a yellow jersey with a jersey from a ride I didn't actually do, and I've done it while riding with ornoth. I've also experienced group rides that claim to be open to newbies but really aren't.

And I'd hope that if I did something very ignorant as a newbie rider, someone would have compassion for me and take me aside and let me know I committed a major faux pas. Because it's likely this woman was trying to show her spirit and passion for cycling, and instead she probably got snubbed by a bunch of arrogant men who go 18 mph and someone grudgingly stays behind with or waits for the slow newbie. I've been there (did one ride with CRW), and it sucks.

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

They're sold because people buy them. Surely you have noticed that whether things *do* get sold, and whether they *ought* to be, are not correlated ;).

Other sports seem to have other cultures surrounding their jerseys. In baseball, it's OK to wear those, and it just signifies that you're a fan. Cycling has a different culture, and it's not OK. Why this is the case, I don't know, but it is, and somehow it seems obvious and correct to me as I watch the TdF.

Helping someone win doesn't get you a yellow jersey. All kinds of Postal Service riders never got a yellow, even though Lance would be the first to tell you he couldn't have done it without them. She could be the world's most awesome directeur sportif and she still didn't earn a yellow.

I note that it is entirely possible that ornoth's group did apprise her politely of the errors of her ways. This is his journal, and he gets to rant here. Plenty of people put on a nice face when things are driving them crazy, and then use LJ to express how they actually feel. I dunno, maybe he was a jerk about it, but you can't assume that from this post.

And yup, CRW abandoned me on top of a mountain. They suck.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

I guess I wasn't in the "cycling culture" then, because I did not pick up that wearing a jersey wasn't anything other than supportive.

I never said ornoth's group *didn't* politely apprise her of her faux pas. I just said that I'd hope if I did that people would show compassion for me, and it's likely she didn't get that.

You're also not addressing the fact that a person new to the bicycling community isn't going to know this. Heck, I didn't know that wearing a yellow jersey is a no-no, and I don't think folks would call me a newbie. If you're wondering why I'm so adamant about this, it's because I can see myself in this woman's shoes (literally doing everything she did, sans fanny pack).

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

> This is his journal, and
> he gets to rant here. Plenty of people put on a nice face when things are
> driving them crazy, and then use LJ to express how they actually feel. I
> dunno, maybe he was a jerk about it, but you can't assume that from this
> post.

This is pretty accurate. I knew the post was jerky, which is why I held off posting it, but when I went back to clean out my "pending posts" folder, I decided I'd put it up anyways, despite it being snarky.

I certainly have the capability to be snarky. Judgmentalism is arguably my biggest fault, and although I've toned it down a lot lately, sometimes it still wants to be vented, as it did in this case. I appreciate your understanding.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

> If it's so hubristic, why are yellow jerseys sold?

Damn good question. I have no idea. Actually, I've never seen them sold, except by the TdF organization itself perhaps.

Naturally, there's lots of cyclists who go see the TdF and ride some of the route. I wonder how many -- if any -- of them get -- and wear -- replica jerseys.

> Is it hubristic for me to wear a
> "Ramirez" jersey even though I haven't earned it? Or even a generic Red
> Sox jersey when I obviously haven't earned it, since I'm not on the team?

I think it is *if* you are wearing it while playing baseball. Now, it's not *very* hubristic, so that would compare more to wearing team kit, which is mildly hubristic as opposed to the yellow jersey.

> And I'd hope that if I did something very ignorant as a newbie rider,
> someone would have compassion for me and take me aside and let me know I
> committed a major faux pas.

This is definitely a valid point. I didn't do so myself because... well, I didn't really have the opportunity to talk to her myself. Someone might talk to her about it, or maybe not. I am probably more sensitive to the faux pas aspect of it than most. I wouldn't claim that my attitude is typical or shared by any particular individual or group.

> I've been there (did one
> ride with CRW), and it sucks.

I find it interesting that the two of you both have CRW horror stories. I did the CttC once, and didn't really pay much attention to the support. I think they also do the New Years Day ride, which I've done two or three times, and I'll agree that one's not well planned and usually pretty much just chaos. But for the most part, CRW doesn't come far enough east for me, so I haven't much personal experience with them.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

> And I'm completely with [Unknown site tag] user="ornoth_cycling"> here. Wearing the yellow when you haven't earned
> it is breathtakingly hubristic.

Thanks. The reason why I didn't post this rant originally (I recently went back and posted some stuff that I'd accumulated but never sent) is because I didn't think I got the point across well, so thank you for helping clarify.