ornoth_cycling | Take Me to the Pilot

Despite it being the first big face-to-face confrontation of many leading Tour de France contenders, there isn’t a lot of coverage of the Volta a Catalunya stage race.

So I found myself reading a textual play-by-play commentary that had been Google Translate-d from Catalan to English. Or something approximating English, anyways. Here, for the pilot’s amusement, are some of the more tortured nuggets from the seven days of commentary.

There is the real solution. 191 runners signed. Tour 2016 begins!
Take exit 189 runners. Makes the sun to kill.
Wheel more than 50 km/h all the time because the terrain is favorable. Pilot grouped.
Everyone wants to get to the break of day. Groups are too large and does not curdle
It Succi attacks. Pilot very stretched.
The pilot lying and runs very fast
Sky debunks the escape. The stage is crazy. No truce.
The pilot goes very fast and very stretched.
Trip canceled. Again is living one day fast and nervous
The pilot wheel very fast and breaks in two. The second is Geraint Thomas (Sky)
The wind cuts the pilot in two.
Sky decline to order large group split.
Sky shoots hard driver only hold 40 units. One that remains is Geraint Thomas
Tcatevich (Katusha) and Swift (Sky) linked to any race and form a group of 10 units
The escapees have 3:15 on a pilot relaxing
The 10 escapees have an advantage of 3:45 over a driver who has been unified
4:49 is the difference of the escaped input supplies
The large group of pulling Cofidis has lost respect 6:00 getaway day.
He shoots Sky squad for the difference does not leave 12 minutes.
These three seconds are subsidized.
Daniel Martin and Alberto Contador have subsidized the intermediate sprint Ager!
De Gendt, Bouet and Gradek is not the order of the intermediate sprint Banyoles.
Tinkoff becomes hard to pull of the pack
Unlike the escapees down to 5:30.
It is off the hook Tom Dumoulin (Giant) at the start of the Alto de Tosses (1st cat.)
Duyn (Roompot) first crown High coughs
The eight escapees are still relevant with intensity
The pilot crown Bordoi 3:00 Can the four escapees.
The difference boils down to the 3:00 supplies
The supplies have fallen, but have risen rapidly without apparent consequences.
Cofidis pulls the large group that loses 2:12 respect getaway.
Cofidis, Movistar and Sky pull a driver who has four escapees in less than two minutes.
The trip was dying. 1:40
Weening is 50 seconds ahead of the main group, where he shoots the Sky
Dron (Wanty) and Kiryienka (Sky) enter aa refreshment zone with 10 seconds on the pilot
Trip canceled. Movistar strip large group with very wet road.
Of the pack and jump Swift Poel movimient in the Sky
A group of four men assume the prosecution of Poel